This was inspired by, of all things, horrible Booktok takes. You know, the ones where they say they will only read the dialogue because they just want to understand the plot and they blaze past any descriptions because they’re apparently worthless?

I doubt I can change their minds, since such people allergic to actually, you know … reading. But! There may be some salvageable ones yet.

Today, we’re doing to discuss how to write exciting descriptions, and where to put them for maximum impact. Perhaps we’ll get the Booktok girlies to read a book for fun instead of treating it like a school assignment.

Again, as always, this is just my opinion as someone who has been writing for a long time. And a lot.

To begin, we need to look at the interplay between description, momentum, and tension, which we will leverage to ensure we have our pacing perfect.

What do Description, Momentum, and Tension mean?

Description is anything that is not action or dialogue.

It could be of a room, a character, a landscape, etc. Description can also include interiority, like stream of consciousness thoughts.

Momentum is the forward thrust of the plot.

This is not the same as pacing, though it is related to it. When you have momentum, you are moving forward; that could be slowly or quickly, depending on what you need at the moment.

In general, momentum will ebb and flow throughout a story, same as you have less forward momentum when you’re turning a corner in your car. You’ll start out slowly and gradually pick up pace throughout the story, until something intense happens (like the climax), after which momentum will slow down toward the end.

Tension is suspense or anticipation.

It is directly related to momentum. This is what keeps people turning pages because they want to know what happens.

I will put description aside for a second and delve a bit further into the relationship between tension and momentum.

Momentum = Tension + Pace

Again, momentum is not the same as pace. Momentum is the sense that the story is progressing toward something; tension is about intriguing your readers. You vary the tension based on the pace to get the right momentum.

You can have a slow-paced plot with such extreme tension that people simply can’t put it down, because there is momentum; we feel something building up and we want to know what it is. This is common in horror stories. That creeping sense of dread is tension, and as it builds, so does the momentum.

On the other hand, you can have a fast-paced plot with 0% tension that no one gives a shit about. (Sorry Hurricane Wars, I DNFed after like five seconds because it was boring despite being super fast.)

In this case, you haven’t gotten the right blend between pace and tension, which means there’s not enough momentum. You’ve slammed me into a brick wall and I gave up. This is a common problem with adventure and thriller stories.

Tension is what makes people care, and it needs to be proportional to the momentum.

Think like you’ll pulling something. You need strong tension to build momentum for a heavier (slower-paced) story. But you need light tension to build momentum for a lighter (faster-paced) story. And your pacing will vary, so you’ll need different tensions throughout the book to maintain momentum.

And where does that tension come from? It comes from everywhere, but today we’ll focus on description.

Description Builds Tension, Which Sets the Momentum

I don’t think most people actually hate descriptions. Or maybe I am just too optimistic.

Readers (not Booktok girlies) hate descriptions that take away from the tension and are in the wrong places. These kinds of descriptions bring everything to a screeching halt because no one cares about them at that exact moment.

Description slows things down, which can be a good thing when you need tension. When you don’t need tension – such as if you’re in the middle of the fight scene – you need less description. You’ve built up the momentum already; now you let it hum along until it slows down again. Then, you pick it back up by introducing tension through dialogue, action, and description.

This unveils something else important, which is that you don’t need to handhold your readers.

Allow Your Readers Some Autonomy

It’s okay not to describe everything. In fact, it’s better not to describe everything. Describe what is essential to what you are trying to show, and let everything else be a bit blurry. This helps maintain momentum: you’re not bringing everything to a halt in order to take your reader on an MTV Cribs-style tour of a single room.

And, if the reader cottons on to the fact that you only describe things that are important, then they want to understand why you mentioned it. This creates tension … and thus momentum.

Of course, sometimes you just want to describe something pretty, and that’s fine. But if you’re describing something pretty, then it should have a reason for being there. Either it’s a symbol of something, or it connects back to a particular theme, or it reminds the character of something else, or whatever.

Okay, so now we know what purpose description has, how to use it to build tension and maintain momentum, and so on. But what about exactly where to put it?

Where to Put Descriptions

Hellos.

When meeting a character for the first time, you will want to describe them. Face, height, size, eye color, hair color and style, maybe their clothing if it denotes something about them (rich, poor, messy, neat, weird, out of place, pretentious, humble, etc).

The more that your POV describes a character, the more crucial they are to the plot. Please do not describe every single side character because no one cares.

In fact, if the character isn’t in more than a few scenes, don’t even name them. Your reader’s cognitive load increases with each character that you introduce and describe.

The way that characters are described is also important. As characters grow closer, you can add new details as long as they would not clash with previous ones.

For example, the MC may notice a very small scar on the love interest’s cheek after being together for a few days or weeks, which is an opportunity to share more about the love interest’s backstory. The MC would not fail to mention an enormous scar that goes right across the love interest’s cheek. That would, in fact, be one of the first things they noticed.

Goodbyes.

When characters part from one another is a good time to slow down and let the reader soak in the moment.

You can describe the setting as the other character walks away, or notice something about the departing character’s gait – whatever.

Adding description makes their departure seem momentous and can denote how important the character is to the MC.

Focusing on setting? Unimportant, maybe annoying, and the MC is glad to see them go away. Focusing on the character? Important, the MC probably likes them.

Travel Scenes.

This is a given, especially for fantasy adventures. Show us what’s happening out there! If you can work themes into your descriptions by focusing on key elements – and having the characters react to those things – that’s all the better.

We can get a lot of characterization by seeing how your MC observes their surroundings.

For example, if your character is a foreigner and has a bad opinion of wherever they are, then you can really draw out their disdain and help us understand them better.

If they are scared, they’re going to look for things that feel safe and familiar – and panic if they don’t see any. If they are excited about their journey, even the stupidest things will seem wondrous to them.

If they’re naive, they may want someone to explain everything they see (hence annoying other characters and building conflict).

In this way, you’re developing characterization, worldbuilding, infusing themes, and drawing a pretty picture, all at once. Multifunctional writing is always good.

“Approaching the Door” moments.

What I mean is those moments before something serious happens. It’s the eve of a battle, or it’s right before the character must make a huge decision that will change their life forever, or they’re waiting for terrible news.

Think about sitting in the principal’s office waiting for them to return so you can get yelled at. You’re focusing on anything you can get your eyes on to distract yourself from what you know is coming.

Suddenly that stupid “#1 School Administrator” mug on the desk is the most important thing you’ve ever seen and you can’t stop looking at it: analyzing its gloss, seeing the little dribble of coffee around the rim, noticing that the text is peeling. This can tell us how long the principal has been working in education, if they’re a tidy person or a messy one, and maybe even how much they are liked by their peers.

If you’ve made it clear that something is going to happen soon, slowing down and describing (important!) things will feel agonizing to the reader. They will start clinging to every word for a clue about what is going down, trying to tell what the weather means, and so on.

After Action.

These are the “cigarettes after sex” descriptions. Once something big and important has happened, we need to ease up so the reader can take a breather.

Too much action all at once is, paradoxically, very boring. You’re vomiting all this action on the reader so they don’t have time to digest what the hell is happening before you’ve dragged them on to the next point.

There’s no tension, except maybe a tension headache because your reader is confused and disoriented. There’s no momentum because everything is occurring right on top of itself.

As such, you break it up with a bit of description, pumping the brakes on the momentum. It’s the difference between throwing someone off a cliff (horrifying, criminal offense) versus strapping them into a harness and rappeling down (exciting, recreational activity).

The descriptions may literally be after sex, like when the characters are admiring each other or the scenery after scaling a building to bang on the roof. Or they may be after a battle, during the cleanup or while the characters are convalescing. Or they may be after a huge important reveal, while the characters are digesting the news and trying to figure out what to do next.

Lulls

Again, you can’t have 24/7 adventure and excitement or your reader will have a nervous breakdown. It’s okay to have quick flashes of description during conversations, or while waiting for things.

To ensure you keep a good momentum, these descriptions should be pretty brief. It could just be your POV character noticing something sitting on the table, or hearing a noise outside, or taking a sip of tea.

These small descriptions can add a lot of depth without boring anyone.

Where Not to Put Descriptions

This isn’t to say that there should be no descriptions at all in these places, but any and all descriptions should be kept very brief: no more than a sentence or two.

• Fight scenes
• Arguments
• Chase scenes
• Revelations
• Explanations

Basically, anywhere that there is a lot of action in your particular genre, you need less description. You’ve got a lot of momentum now and can focus primarily on what’s happening rather than where you are, assuming you set things up correctly.

So, now we get to the scariest question.

How Much Description Is Too Much?

Description is good. But like most things, description becomes bad when it is in the wrong place at the wrong time.

A quick rule of thumb is that if you have a full page of nothing but description – no dialogue, no action – you have too much. You don’t have to remove it all: you just need to chunk it up by including an action or a conversation.

Your character should not be musing to themselves for a full page. I can’t even listen to myself muse for a full page, and I am the main character in my own life. Throw a grenade at them, or have the building collapse, or whatever.

They also shouldn’t be just describing things for a full page, even if it’s some beautiful scenic locale. Have you ever tried to just sit there for 10 minutes and pick out every single little thing you see around you? Exhausting!

Real people would not do that, no matter how interesting somewhere is. They’d grab a snack, or turn to the person next to them and ask a question, or wonder what it would feel like to run into traffic, then promptly tell themselves not to do that and go back to admiring the scenery.

And man, if you are describing another character for a full half a page, your MC is either very horny or very, very bored.

Characters are not real people, but for the most part, they must feel like real people.

Even the most fantastical of fantastic fantasy stories still have characters that feel like a real person, because people like stories that have realistic people in them.

Description is the same way if you are working in third person limited or first person. Think about how long you spend describing something when seeing it for the first time, or when you first meet someone. Probably not very long! You’re not sitting there musing for ten minutes without doing anything whatsoever.

Together with dialogue and action, description builds a world, offers characterization, and creates tension: all the elements you need for a great story.