Being an indie author is hard. Writing is hard in general, but working alone? That’s a real fight. Not only do you need to actually write the book, but you have to arrange all the other aspects: beta reading, editing, cover commissions, and marketing.

Almost all of us have faced these challenges; many of us still are. I know I am, but that’s okay. It takes time to gain momentum for your writing, especially in today’s climate. So, today, I’d like to take a step back from my usual writing advice and give you some sincere, yet difficult, reassurance.

You’re not selling any books.

This is one of the most challenging parts of being an indie author. You know you put out a great product! You struggled with it for months or even years; you did everything right. But you’re getting no attention.

There are a few reasons for this. Some of them have to do with you, and some of them are just how life works.

The indie market is extremely saturated. You could spend thousands of dollars and still not get a single sale.

You are up against major publishers with millions of dollars to throw at their books.

Readers are fickle. If your book doesn’t fit neatly into their desired categories and tropes, they won’t bother. Most don’t want to explore anything new but enjoy some comfort food in the form of “same but a little different.”

Your concept is not “in” right now. Every genre has trends, which are typically pushed by the major publishers and percolate through the rest of the industry.

Your marketing package is not up to par. You have a boring cover, an uninteresting blurb, or aren’t marketing to the right audience.

You don’t have the time, energy, or funds to market full-time or in the correct places.

And yes, I hate to say it, but sometimes your writing is poor enough that people aren’t interested. You’ll likely know this is the case if you have people telling you that they weren’t able to finish it, even if you offer it for free.

However, most of the things on this list are fixable, depending on how much work (and money) you’re willing to put in.

My book sales got a huge boost from paying a marketing company to set up my Amazon ads. I followed the advice of seasoned writers and (mostly) didn’t start advertising until I completed Funeral of Hopes, the third book in the main series.

I also only advertised the first book, 9 Years Yearning, and relied on clickthrough buys. That means that even though my ROI looks abysmal for the first book, I’m actually getting multiple sales for the price of one ad.

If this is your very first book, don’t bother spending money on ads. Focus on building your catalogue and getting organic sales. Once you have three or four books in your arsenal, then you can start advertising.

You feel demoralized and frustrated by your lack of progress.

It’s completely normal to get frustrated when you don’t see the momentum building. We live in a world inundated with instant gratification; everything moves at a lightning pace.

However, remember that all the writers you admire did not succeed at first, either. For example, Brandon Sanderson fought for eight years to get published. He wrote at least 12 books during this time, and it was only a chance encounter with an agent at a convention that got him accepted.

Sanderson’s books have now sold over 40 million copies worldwide; he’s the top of the top when it comes to fantasy. That only happened because he persisted, for years, to realize his vision.

I find Sanderson’s story far more inspirational than those authors who get an immediate acceptance on their debut novel. He shows exactly how persistence can lead to amazing results. If he didn’t give up and gained such incredible traction, you can too.

You struggle to balance writing with your other responsibilities.

Few of us make enough to write full-time, and we all have other responsibilities. Whether that’s working a challenging job, parenting, caring for other relatives, coping with health issues, or even pursuing other hobbies, there always seems to be something else that takes our attention away.

In these instances, you need self-discipline. You do not need to write for hours every day; in fact, you don’t have to write every single day if that doesn’t work for you. What matters is that you schedule out time, whether that’s 15 minutes or two hours, to write on a consistent basis.

You’d be surprised how much you can get done in just 30 minutes when you’re able to block out other distractions. Talk to your loved ones and tell them that this time is important to you; assert your boundaries. Sometimes, this will mean getting up early, or staying up late, to get some time in when everyone else isn’t bugging you.

When you start a writing project, break it down into its basest parts, and then schedule out when you will do what. If a certain part isn’t working on a given day, that’s ok: just skip to another section. That might feel weird for you at first, but it lets you harness every single minute of time that you have.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Respect that you have a lot of other things on your plate and that writing may not be your #1 priority. That doesn’t make you a bad or lazy writer; it just means that you have a full, rich life with many other pieces. Writing is only one of the things that matter to you.

Being so busy may mean that your project takes much more time than it would someone else with less responsibilities. That’s okay. There’s no rush. The writing will always be there for you when you’re ready. As long as you stick with it, the timeline doesn’t matter.

Friends and family aren’t interested in your book.

This really sucks and hurts, perhaps the most of anything I discuss here. You share exciting news about your book on Instagram or Facebook – and no one you know even bothers to give it a like.

You worked so, so hard on this book, breathed life into it like you were giving your computer CPR. All those nights of typing until your eyes blurred. The revision time that isn’t measured in hours, but in the number of Red Bull cans stacked around your desk.

Zero comments, zero likes. Then you scroll down and see that an acquaintance got a tsunami of “congratulations!” for announcing their pregnancy.

Fucking ouch, man. I’ve been there. At my age, everyone is either having their first kid or onto the second. My precious book children cannot compete.

But … here’s the thing that you and I both need to hear.

People can be proud of you without reading your book.

Your high school friend is busy. Your former coworker is struggling at their new job. Your bestie just had a kid. Your great-aunt is battling cancer. Everything in their life is more important to them than you are, and that’s normal. After all, everything in your life is more important to you than anything in theirs.

They may not have time to sit down and read your book, but if you bring it up to them, I am sure they’ll give you a well-deserved pat on the back.

If I post something about my books on Instagram or Facebook, I assume they’ll get buried by the algorithm, and that no one will care. This way, I’m releasing myself from frustration without failing to advertise.

You get negative feedback from your loved ones.

Young writers often cry to subreddits that their friends were mean to them about their work. Firstly, don’t expect critique from your non-writer friends. They don’t know what they’re doing.

Secondly, honesty is a show of respect for that person and their work. Trite praise is a form of dismissal, even if it feels good in the moment. I respect someone more if they’re willing to tell me they weren’t a fan of my book (on its own merits, not because of its genre).

As I said in my post about handling negative feedback, someone being willing to share criticism with you means that they care about you. They want you to do better, and they’re giving your work the attention it deserves.

Someone who doesn’t give a shit about you will say, “I liked it!” and nothing else. They won’t remember anything they read and get annoyed when you ask for more details. They’ll change the subject when you bring up your work. They’ll procrastinate on reading it, hoping you’ll shut up and leave them alone.

Or, the nuclear holocaust scenario: they say, “I don’t like that genre,” and refuse to even try.

I get that one a lot since I write fantasy: probably one out of every ten folks I talk to. People assume this genre is dumb baby stuff or a pretentious snore-fest that requires them to memorize an encyclopedia (which is bad fantasy writing). I can give them the most gorgeous fantasy book ever, and they’ll just sneer; their minds were made up years before I came on the scene.

Those kinds of responses make me feel like I was shot in the chest with a lawn dart. I would take the bitchiest, most bad-faith interpretation over any of the above because an honest review means they actually cared about what they read. They engaged with my work on a deeper level than “there are words on the screen that I comprehend.”

Feelings! I want you to feel feelings. Even if that’s disdain and contempt. Good.

Viewing criticism as a compliment takes some time – and a whole lot of critique. It can be more difficult when you personally know the people involved, but you have to separate your relationships from your work. It’s crucial to your overall well-being as a writer.

You feel like others have unfair expectations about your success.

Non-authors do not really understand what the market is like or the challenges that we face. When they hear “author,” they think “Wow, you’ve made it! You’ve probably sold thousands of books!”

Those more in the know may hear “indie author” and go, “Well, you’re just a shitty writer who couldn’t hack it in traditional publishing. You slapped some half-baked garbage onto Amazon and no one read it because it sucks.”

And, to be fair, thinking that every indie author sucks is more than valid. I say that as an indie author myself. The number of terrible self-pubbed books I have seen and read tells me that many, many writers are not really ready to publish and instead put their very first project up.

But you know what? None of that matters.

Yes, it hurts to hear people deride you. I have gotten more than one gut punch when someone asks me, with sparkles in their eyes, whether I’ve written anything they’d have heard of, and I have to tell them no, probably not.

I’m not discounting your feelings when I tell you that their expectations don’t matter. Knowing this in your mind and accepting it in your heart are asynchronous processes, especially if you’re a natural people pleaser.

You want people to be proud of you, and you want to bask in their praise. This is perfectly normal. All of us want validation, and some need it more than others.

But please believe me when I tell you this.

Only your opinion really matters when it comes to your writing success.

No one else’s. Not your mom, not your best friend, not your high school English teacher. Not those strangers on the internet.

In an oversaturated market, very few of us succeed in the way that laypeople will expect. We have to make up our own successes and celebrate them with vigor.

For me, it doesn’t matter if I sell a million books. While I’m delighted by every sale and positive review, I’m not crushed when nothing comes my way.

Why? Because I am proud of the projects I put out, and I am pleased by the small reception my books have received. I know I’ve put the work in to learn my craft – over 15 years of it, in fact. My books consume and fascinate me; I love writing them.

That is what really matters, deep down. I want people to enjoy them, but I also want to enjoy the process of making them, too.

You are jealous and resentful of other, more successful authors.

Jealousy is a natural response to insecurity. We all compare ourselves to other people all the time; when we feel that we fall short, we get upset.

Trying to eradicate jealousy isn’t healthy. When you suppress any given emotion – whether that’s anger, grief, or resentment – you actually feed into it because you’re not addressing the root cause. It festers deep down inside you until you can’t take it anymore, and then it blows up in your face.

So please don’t beat yourself up for how you feel when you see someone else achieving your dreams. Your feelings are your feelings, and it’s up to you how you respond to them.

Being jealous can be positive if you use it to motivate yourself. Rather than telling yourself not to be jealous, ask yourself this: “What exactly am I jealous of? How can I acquire that for myself?”

This transmutes jealousy into an action plan. You identify what is making you feel envious of someone else, and then you formulate ways to acquire that. The key here is that you’re not lashing out at others, and you’re not dimishing someone else’s success. Instead, you’re using their achievements as a benchmark, a line in the sand that you can inch toward.

By considering how you can improve, you move toward self-competition: one of the most powerful forms of motivation. Self-competition is about trying to beat your previous high scores, whether that’s a certain wordcount or a monthly sales threshold. As you continue to focus on how to achieve your goals, you’ll become so dedicated to your journey that other peoples’ achievements won’t matter as much anymore.

You struggle to separate your identity as a writer from who you are overall.

I introduce myself as a writer, because that is what I do. My day job is SEO writing, and my hobby is fantasy writing.

However, I am also many other things. I am a daughter, a sibling, a dog mom, a horse girl, a business owner, a rock climber.

You might wonder why I am telling you that you’ve got to segment out such an important part of your life. The reason is that if you identify too much with “writer,” then you are a slave to readers’ whims.

If your book tanks, that implies you are a failure too. That’s not true, though, because writing is an activity. It is not something innate about you, such as curiosity, compassion, or whimsy.

Success or failure says something about your actions, not your whole being. For writing, it may mean that you didn’t polish a story enough, or you rushed production, or readers are not finding you. None of this erases your overall worth.

By acknowledging that writing is a favorite activity of yours, you are able to separate yourself from any authorial success. This is no different than playing an instrument, indulging in a hobby, or choosing a certain procession. Failing in any of these aspects doesn’t erase your overall value or imply character defects.

While self-publishing doesn’t always guarantee rewards, it does offer satisfaction and comfort. The time you spent writing is never wasted as long as you enjoyed the process. Be true to yourself and your unique voice. Don’t let others steal your joy. Most of all, be patient. Good things take time.